all the days

"I'm happier than a tornado in a trailer park."

- Mater

I have moved three times this semester, and it has been rough... trying to keep up with work, school and you know, life. But as they say, third time is a charm, and charmed I am. That up there is a view from our window... our address, Pacific Street... and for good reason... the big blue is right there. Therefore, I am happy. Sure, happiness is temporary, but if a blessing brings some good feelings, who am I to be a pious, pompous... you get the idea. This is an area I am growing in though, accepting the world as it is, yet juggling the command to "be in it but not of it." Youthful vigor blinds me often... I guess the thing that's changing is my youth...

But not to be outdone with the location, the Lord took it a step farther. Moving in has been made easy by people doling out pots, pans, dishes, we truly had no kitchen goods prior. The only thing I really wanted though was a hot air popper to make some yummy popcorn. I had cleaned out all the cupboards in the kitchen except one, and lo and behold, look what was there...

O Lord, You have searched me and known me. You know when I sit down and when I rise up; You understand my thought from afar. You scrutinize my path and my lying down, and are intimately acquainted with all my ways. Even before there is a word on my tongue, behold, O Lord, You know it all. You have enclosed me behind and before, and laid Your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is too high, I cannot attain to it.

Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend to heaven, You are there; if I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there. If I take the wings of the dawn, if I dwell in the remotest part of the sea, even there Your hand will lead me, and Your right hand will lay hold of me. If I say, "Surely the darkness will overwhelm me, and the light around me will be night," even the darkness is not dark to You, and the night is as bright as the day. Darkness and light are alike to You.

For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mothers womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth; Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; and in Your book were all written the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them.

How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand. When I awake, I am still with You.

- Psalm 139:1-18

O how precious is the grace of God and the assurance that He is truly sovereign over all things, big and small... all the days...

perfect love...

"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."

- Ephesians 4:32

be ye perfect... now

"Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect."

- Jesus

God expects perfection, bottom line. But it is painfully obvious that we cannot offer Him perfection, or anything remotely close. If that fact is not painfully obvious, then we have become disillusioned and are in a serious need of a reality check in relation to our own sinfulness. Then why, and how does He expect us to be perfect? Is it some sort of cruel joke, meant to frustrate and drive people away? ???

Pride, the answer is pride... we become frustrated and walk from faith when we realize that we cannot do it (be perfect that is), and that inability, pridefully angers us. Oh how possible it is to have this mindset and think that we are right, "well if God expects me to do that... then God can..."

And oh how wrong we are. See, God knows there is no "potential within," and He sees us as what we are. Broken, mis-shaped pots who see themselves as something of alabaster and gold. This fact is beautiful, no, not our prideful view of ourselves of course, but understanding Gods understanding of us. When a parent, teacher, or friend sees potential in someone and that person isn't living up to it, he/she usually becomes frustrated and angry with the person (and that usually from pride too, think about it...). Whereas with the Lord, amazingly this is where He comes to the rescue. God certainly is upset with our failures, but as He is perfect, He perfectly understands that "love covers over a multitude of sins." And as the pen is mightier than the sword, love is mightier than everything. So God wins with love, and He expects us to do the same. And that is why He commands perfection, because He understands that when love is sown, the harvest will be plentiful. Therefore cast out all frustration and anger and simply love. Love.

"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Phillipians 3:12-14

"The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray. Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen." 1 Peter 4:7-11

"All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, 'God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.' Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen." 1 Peter 5:5-11

perfect we shall be

It amazes me to think that one day life as we know it will cease to exist. Shocking really, I mean, I think we tend to feel so planted here, so attached to all we think is real, all we think is important. Take some time, sit on it for a while, really grapple with the fact of being finite...

How hard is it? How fast does the mind travel to other things, other things that portray themselves as more important? Personally, I know what happens... oh this is coming up, that is going to take place, I need this, I want that, how's the cat, yada, yada. And I think we all have the same problem, I'm sure we all suffer, inherently, from some form of "ADD" and therefore are naturally at odds with recognizing the importance of understanding that, yes, life is certainly about living and fulfilling one's duty on the planet, but ultimately the fulfilling, culminating truth is that life is about dying.

What?

Yes, death... that which we all should hate with passion. A tell-tale sign of our frailty. To hate out of pride, angry that we are forced to succumb to the whims of a force greater than ourselves, is obviously wrong. But to hate out of humility, understanding one's own wretchedness and contribution to the reason for death, that is a completely different story...

And I must go to school, so I shall finish mas tarde, si?

perfect we are not

Why is it that when someone is seen as having potential, perfection is expected of them?

a bean in the snow

This is Gillian...

...or Gilly Bean... or just Bean. And that is a picture of a Bean in the snow.

This past weekend while staying at Grandma's house in Wisconsin, Bean heard the weatherman say on TV that there was a chance of snow; only it was raining outside. In perfect two year old fashion, not understanding the variables involved, Bean said that she "really" wanted it to snow. As her mother was taking her to go for a nap it was explained that the only way it would snow is if God wanted it to snow. So Bean prayed and asked God to make it snow. Of course you already know the outcome, pictures say many words. When Bean woke up and there were four inches of perfect fluffy packing snow on the ground, she exclaimed, faithfully, the way only a child can, that God had heard her.

Ahh... I wish that I were there to hear her make that exclamation. Oh how precious. Children know so much more than we give them credit for. It's interesting to ponder whether there was an element of divine interaction involved in the rain becoming snow in such timing. Personally, I believe God to be that sovereign, and loving. Somehow with something on a macro level like the weather, He is able to be completely and intricately involved on a micro level with all of His creation. All glory and honor be unto Him.

"Great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised, and his greatness is unsearchable." Psalm 145:3

...read the rest of that Psalm, and think of how the little faith of the little Bean was made bigger with a little white fluffy snow.

hee hee...

I was just enjoying a peanut butter and bread sandwich with a cup of coffee in the kitchen here at work, and Lourdes, the morning chef, asks me how long I've been in school. It took a little thinking to add up all the years, almost two hands, and finally, once I pieced everything together I told her that it has been five (not including the Navy). She gave me the most classic response, and I wish I could reproduce her Hispanic accent, cuz that's what made it over-the-top hilarious. Anyway, she exclaims, literally, with shock, "What are you going to be, a doctor!... a minister!... ... ... the next president!..." Ohh, it was great, unequivocally funny...

I think, I will be all the above. I haven't decided in what order though. Probably a good idea to start out with president, then doctor maybe, and then minister. Seems like a more sane way to do it. To end with presidency would just be disappointing and depressing.

Anywho, if you plan to be in school within the next 10 years I'll probably see you there... classmate. Here's to goals and dreams!

shepherds

"Though magistrates and ministers fail in doing their part, for the good of the church, yet God will not fail in doing his; he will take the flock into his own hand rather than the church shall come short of any kindness he has designed for it. The under-shepherds may prove careless, but the chief Shepherd neither slumbers nor sleeps. They may be false, but God abides faithful."

-Matthew Henry

The word of the LORD came to me: "Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel; prophesy and say to them: 'This is what the Sovereign LORD says: Woe to the shepherds of Israel who only take care of themselves! Should not shepherds take care of the flock? You eat the curds, clothe yourselves with the wool and slaughter the choice animals, but you do not take care of the flock. You have not strengthened the weak or healed the sick or bound up the injured. You have not brought back the strays or searched for the lost. You have ruled them harshly and brutally. So they were scattered because there was no shepherd, and when they were scattered they became food for all the wild animals. My sheep wandered over all the mountains and on every high hill. They were scattered over the whole earth, and no one searched or looked for them.

Therefore, you shepherds, hear the word of the LORD : As surely as I live, declares the Sovereign LORD, because my flock lacks a shepherd and so has been plundered and has become food for all the wild animals, and because my shepherds did not search for my flock but cared for themselves rather than for my flock, therefore, O shepherds, hear the word of the LORD : This is what the Sovereign LORD says: I am against the shepherds and will hold them accountable for my flock. I will remove them from tending the flock so that the shepherds can no longer feed themselves. I will rescue my flock from their mouths, and it will no longer be food for them.

For this is what the Sovereign LORD says: I myself will search for my sheep and look after them. As a shepherd looks after his scattered flock when he is with them, so will I look after my sheep. I will rescue them from all the places where they were scattered on a day of clouds and darkness. I will bring them out from the nations and gather them from the countries, and I will bring them into their own land. I will pasture them on the mountains of Israel, in the ravines and in all the settlements in the land. I will tend them in a good pasture, and the mountain heights of Israel will be their grazing land. There they will lie down in good grazing land, and there they will feed in a rich pasture on the mountains of Israel. I myself will tend my sheep and have them lie down, declares the Sovereign LORD. I will search for the lost and bring back the strays. I will bind up the injured and strengthen the weak, but the sleek and the strong I will destroy. I will shepherd the flock with justice.

Ezekiel 34:1-16

“To the elders among you, I appeal as a fellow elder, a witness of Christ's sufferings and one who also will share in the glory to be revealed: Be shepherds of God's flock that is under your care, serving as overseers—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not greedy for money, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away.”

1 Peter 5:1-4

sheep

"Sheep are not the docile, pleasant creatures of the pasoral idyll. Any countryman will tell you that. They are sly, occasionally vicious, pathologically stupid."

- Joanne Harris

As for you, my flock, this is what the Sovereign LORD says: I will judge between one sheep and another, and between rams and goats. Is it not enough for you to feed on the good pasture? Must you also trample the rest of your pasture with your feet? Is it not enough for you to drink clear water? Must you also muddy the rest with your feet? Must my flock feed on what you have trampled and drink what you have muddied with your feet?

Therefore this is what the Sovereign LORD says to them: See, I myself will judge between the fat sheep and the lean sheep. Because you shove with flank and shoulder, butting all the weak sheep with your horns until you have driven them away, I will save my flock, and they will no longer be plundered. I will judge between one sheep and another. I will place over them one shepherd, my servant David, and he will tend them; he will tend them and be their shepherd. I the LORD will be their God, and my servant David will be prince among them. I the LORD have spoken.

Ezekiel 34:17-24

If my hair was white, I would represent a sheep all to well :)

Lord, grant us change.

meant to be

I think I am definitely meant to be a country boy. I'm in L.A. right now, visiting my brother-in-law, and I can't stand it here. I heard someone say on the radio that they were driving to work on the 405 freeway, and the radio announcer laughed and said, "looks like your going to be driving for four or five hours... ha, ha, ha." I didn't think it was funny. I'm disgusted by it. Is it possible to find satisfaction as a human being wearing a suit and talking business at a bar, in a sea of concrete? I am sure that it is possible, but not for me, that's for sure. I'm meant to wear flip-flops.

today's lesson

The last post was a quote that seemingly looked beautiful, and oddly enough to some would be. To the ignorant (myself until it was pointed out to me :) whose English is lacking it seemed right. But a quick check with the ole' dictionary says otherwise, hmm...

indiscriminate / [in-di-skrim-uh-nit]
–adjective
1.
not discriminating; lacking in care, judgment, selectivity, etc.: indiscriminate in one's friendships.
2.
not discriminate; haphazard; thoughtless: indiscriminate slaughter.
3.
not kept apart or divided; thrown together; jumbled: an indiscriminate combination of colors and styles.


discriminate  [v. di-skrim-uh-neyt; adj. di-skrim-uh-nit]
–verb (used without object)
1.
to make a distinction in favor of or against a person or thing on the basis of the group, class, or category to which the person or thing belongs rather than according to actual merit; show partiality: The new law discriminates against foreigners. He discriminates in favor of his relatives.
2.
to note or observe a difference; distinguish accurately: to discriminate between things.
–verb (used with object)
3.
to make or constitute a distinction in or between; differentiate: a mark that discriminates the original from the copy.
4.
to note or distinguish as different: He can discriminate minute variations in tone.
–adjective
5.
marked by discrimination; making or evidencing nice distinctions: discriminate people; discriminate judgments.

What a difference a few letters makes...

indiscriminately

"God commands us to all indiscriminately cast forth the the seed of the gospel, but it is the Holy Spirit alone who germinates that seed in the hearts of those for whom Christ died. For that grace itself which the Spirit quickens the elect has its source and fountain in the work of Christ."

- John H.

whoa!... i'm ignorant

Was cruisin' through the offices at church today, picked up a random book I found lying on a desk, and did a quick couple hour speed read and this is what I found (amongst many other things)...

"...Pontius Pilate, the Roman procurator, even asked Jesus, 'What is truth?' (John18:38). The truth allures men, yet it eludes them also. One reason is because many are quick to condemn before they investigate. Solomon, the wisest man that ever lived (excluding Jesus), said it this way: 'He who answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame to him' (Prov. 18:13). If we set aside our own opinions and seek true understanding, then we become the benefeciaries.

"The main reason why truth is difficult to find is because the acceptance of truth is hindered by man's pride and arrogance. All of us possess some knowledge, but none of us can know it all."

Yup... so generally I think of myself as a pretty smart person, but, ummm... also in this book homie quotes people who have a faith in scripture, in order to show how intelligent it is to have faith, and these people, make me feel very, very ignorant.

"Dr. Robert Dick Wilson said, 'I have made it an invariable habit never to accept an objection to a statement of the Old Testament without subjecting it to a most thorough investigation, linguistically and factually.' He holds a PhD from Princeton and is author of A Scientific Investigation of the Old Testament. Without missing a single syllable, he can repeat from memory the entire New Testament in Hebrew and can do the same with large portions of the Old Testament. He speaks forty-five languages."

WHAT?!!! Forty-five languages?!! My goodness... I struggle with English. Anyway... I don't know why he would know the New Testament in Hebrew, that doesn't make much sense (unless he is Jewish), maybe it's a typo, regardless, I am humbled. I mean, to know any small portion of scripture by heart, in my native tongue, would be nice.

There is much peace to be found resting in the shelter of others faith, and there is also much work to be done in securely building shelters of our own faith, seeking the Lord and loving Him. Ahhh... life...

God grant us wisdom.

"It is the glory of God to conceal things, but the glory of kings is to search things out." Proverbs 25:1

yikes

When I was a young lad I used to sing quite regularly in my schools little choir, or should I say, little schools choir. It was a private Lutheran school with, I don't know, 14 or 15 kids in it, grades Kintergarden through 6th... yeah, I know, tiny! Well after that I thought it gay or something to be in a choir so I stopped, but now that I'm older and simply understand gay to be "having or showing a merry, lively mood," :) I really don't care. So in my fourth year in community college :) I joined a choir and our first performance is this weekend. Yikes.

imagine...

imagine...
life without inhibitions,
the wrong ones,
from the past,
the dark past...
die...

imagine...
day without night,
not yet,
light casts shadow,
here,
now...
fear...

imagine...
who could?
what about?
when can?
where will?
why does?
how would?...
stop...

imagine...
faith,
with pain,
every step blind,
imagine…
no such thing,
if truth,
is truth...
walk...

imagine…
how would?
why does?
where will?
when can?
what about?
who could?
receive…

imagine…
now,
here,
light casts shadow,
to come,
day without night...
hope, trust, love…

imagine...
life with peace,
the right one,
from the past,
the bright past...
live...