finally... Moody...

No, I am not in a bad mood, as the title of this post could possibly suggest. My application to Moody was received by the early deadline, and I have received a response. Brittany had been telling me that the 14th of this month was the day we were supposed to hear from them so I had been looking out the window every fifteen minutes or so checking to see if the mail had come. Of course the mailman was late that day (last Tuesday), later than ever actually, and I was just about to leave for work. Willie called me, we were chatting, I checked to see if the flag was down one more time, and, yes it was. I got the mail, rifled through the letters, and there it was, MOODY BIBLE INSTITUTE. Willie was excitedly telling me to open it, and some of me didn't want to, but of course I really did, so here it is, you can read for yourself (once opened, click on the expand button on the lower right corner of the picture to make it readable)...

Ahh, yes, the proverbial HOWEVER. When I was reading the letter (out loud so Willie could hear) I paused at However, and my heart sank. Willie said something too, I can't remember what, but it was somber. I thought that was it. My legs were weak, my stomach was a little upside down, and I was instantly saddened. Of course I kept reading and was relieved, but the feeling of shock didn't subside instantly. Partially because I have wanted to know for so long and had been looking forward to that day when the letter would come.

So, now, I am still waiting. Of course I wish I weren't, but it has caused me to dive deeper into the depths of Gods sovereignty and trusting His plan for my life. If anything, even if I don't get accepted, I have learned through this how well I am at deceiving myself. I have been telling everyone and thinking to myself how it isn't that big of a deal if I'm not accepted. I realize from my initial reaction that I have been telling myself those lies in an attempt to protect my heart, something I do in many areas of my life. So I have learned I need to be more honest with myself and others. I am no stoic, I care much whether I am accepted, but all I can say and pray is, Lord, Thy will be done.

brute man

I thought I would use MSN Spaces as my blog, but for some reason I always come back to blogger, so it looks like I'm here to stay. I'm going to delete all my posts at the spaces site and use it for pictures only, but I couldn't let this one go, I like the quote too much. So this is taken from a December 29th post:

So, this book is quotable just about every page, and I have just about every page dog-eared (as if I will make it back) but I am currently reading this part, so it is this part I shall cite. What part, you ask, well, I'll get to that. One thing for sure, Chesterton is not writing this book as an apologetic ranting, most of it is an account of his own philosophical or theological assent. In that sense it has been a thick read, as he is way smarter than I, and I also had to become accustomed to his writing style as is necessary to comprehend anything he writes. So naturally when I get to the one part of the book where he stoops to an apologetic level, I became excited. And so I quote:

Many a sensible modern man must have abandoned Christianity under the pressure of three such converging convictions as these: first, that men, with their shape, structure, and sexuality, are, after all, very much like beasts, a mere variety of the animal kingdom... The only objection to this (I discover) is that it is untrue. If you leave off looking at books about beasts and men, if you begin to look at beasts and men then (if you have any humour or imagination, any sense of the frantic or the farcical) you will observe that the startling thing is not how like man is to the brutes, but how unlike he is. It is the monstrous scale of his divergence that requires an explanation. That man and brute are like is, in a sense, a truism; but that being so like they should then be so insanely unlike, that is the shock and the enigma. That an ape has hands is far less interesting to the philosopher than the fact that having hands he does next to nothing with them; does not play knuckle-bones or the violin; does not carve marble or carve mutton. People talk of barbaric architecture and debased art. But elephants do not build colossal temples of ivory even in a rococo style; camels do not paint even bad pictures, though equipped with the material of many camel's-hair brushes. Certain modern dreamers say that ants and bees have a society superior to ours. They have, indeed, a civilization; but that very truth only reminds us that it is an inferior civilization. Who ever found an ant-hill decorated with the statues of celebrated ants? Who has seen a bee-hive carved with the images of gorgeous queens of old? No; the chasm between man and other creatures may have a natural explanation, but it is a chasm. All other animals are tame animals; following the rugged respectability of the tribe or type. All other animals are domestic animals; man alone is ever undomestic, either as a profligate or a monk.

Ahh, I love it; "camels do not paint even bad pictures, though equipped with the material of many camel's-hair brushes." Chesterton makes me laugh and makes me think, sometimes both until they hurt. Glory Hallelujah.

g.k. chesterton

"...from that earthquake saying of our Gospels, which declare that the Son of God came not with peace but with a sundering sword. The saying rings entirely true even considered as what it obviously is; the statement that any man who preaches real love is bound to beget hate."

john calvin

"We certainly obey God with our will, but it is with a will which he has formed in us. Those, apart from the grace of God, do nothing else than rend the Holy Spirit. Paul declares, not that a faculty of willing is given to us, but that the will itself is formed in us (Phil. 2:13), so that from none else but God is the assent or obedience of a right will. He acts within, holds our hearts, moves our hearts, and draws us by the inclinations which he has produced in us. So says Augustine. What a preparation can there be in a heart of iron, until by a wondrous change it begins to be a heart of flesh?" - John Calvin

So I read this (from R.C. Sprouls book "Willing to Believe") and the first thought to mind is, if there is an inclination towards good and that only comes from God, what happened in the garden of eden? How did Adam, created perfect, incline himself towards eating of the fruit? I then must understand that it was not God who inclined Adam to do wrong, but, it is Him, who inclines us to do good. Even today with a regenerate heart my decision process begs of me to choose between right and wrong. I am inclined towards good, and the only reason I know that is by how bad I feel when I do wrong ("the shadow proves the sunshine"). If we were living in darkness, we would hate the light, but a child of God has an opposite perspective. Until the Lord has begun a work in me, and inclined my will toward good, I am a servent to sin. But who saves us, the Messiah, Yeshua, Jesus. All praise belongs to Him!

back from surfing

Oh yes, I love Mexico. Everything about the place stirs a sense of freedom in me. We drove down with a caravan of 9 cars, toting 50 people, and what a blast we had. The surf was awesome, the food was grandiose and the company was the biggest blessing of all. I put pictures on my other site, so you can check them out if you wish. We had an entire coastline to our group and the wave, if caught right, could take you for a long ride. That was rad. I was one of the few men under the age of thirty, so I was the big brother of all the groms. That was rad. I ate like a horse and caught more waves than I ever had before. That was rad. And of course the teaching at night and time of fellowship was plentiful and wholesome. That was rad. God is too good. Oh, yeah I got a letter from Moody the other day...

rad adj. Slang
Excellent; wonderful.
[Short for radical.]

gone surfing

Going to Mexico this weekend with Christian Surfers, should be a grand ole' time. Will I hear from Moody while I'm gone? Oh, Lord, Thy will be done...

the clock is ticking

Four days, including today (as the mail hasn't come yet), and I should find out whether I have been accepted to Moody Bible Institute. Why four days, well I have heard from a friend who applied that the fourteenth of this month is the day those who made the early deadline find out whether they have been accepted or not. I can't help but think about it all the time. I check the mail daily with the enthusiasm of a little boy expecting a decoder ring. Last time I applied to school I only applied to one, but could have cared less the outcome, now, my expectations keep me on my toes and sometimes they hurt. For a little over two years now I have struggled with making a step towards a goal other than being out of debt. I have worked a couple jobs and have been consistent in paying off my debt, and sure I have been lackadaisically enrolling in a class or two at community college for the last couple years, but the big question has been, what do I do? I have been thinking of pursuing a degree in History, only to go on and get a Masters so I could teach, but as far as passion goes, I want to fly. I want to be overseas, in a part of the world far from the normal reaches of your typical traveler. I want to reach the unreachable for Christ and share with them the great news of salvation. Thy will be done... That is where I must be and where I must find peace. Saturday is the day, and Friday I leave for Mexico for the weekend. I won't get back until Monday, therefore the fourteenth has turned into the sixteenth, but, Thy will be done...

i sit here at 11:11

It happens twice a day, 11:11. Soon it will pass, tick, tock, tick, tock... What's the deal with music, it has such a powerful effect, can lift one up and bring one down. I try to imagine the world often prior to the advent of electricity, which Edison (and many others) ushered in around 1882. Insane... we (humans) have only had electricity for a century and a quarter. Imagine no lamps, headlights, computers, ipods, amplified music, the ability to listen to music anywhere, anytime. Imagine the necessity of people playing acoustic instruments in order to hear music. All music was live at one point. The same goes for pictures. Imagine only having crude paintings for memories. How would we be different, would we act different on an everyday basis? Lord knows...

Music right now and many times, has me in a state of euphoria, caring, yet not caring, almost a sense of freedom. Hoping for the impossible; I love hoping for the impossible. Yet, there is no such thing. One cannot have hope knowing that which is hoped for is an impossiblity, though sometimes things seem impossible, but what is impossible for man is possible with God. So what do I hope for? Salvation of multitudes, selfishly, the multitude of people I know personally who know not their Lord and Savior; I hope for a family, a great wife and a lot of children running around; I hope for a job with means to provide for a family; I sometimes hope the world would end now, and I would be face to face with the Creator of all that is seen and unseen. Hmmm... music makes me pensive, I like it...