going crazy

"And when his family heard it, they went out to seize him, for they were saying, 'He is out of his mind.'" Mark 3:21


"They who go on with vigour and zeal in the work of God, must expect to meet with hindrances, both from the groundless disaffection of their enemies, and the mistaken affections of their friends, and they have need to stand upon their guard against both." -Matthew Henry


Oh God, Master and Lord, may I, may we, let go of our dreams and expectations and fully live for Your glory, regardless of cost.

election

And I quote:

After giving a brief survey of the doctrines of grace, I asked for questions. One lady, in particular, was troubled. She said,

"This is the most awful thing I've ever heard! You make it sound as if God is intentionally turning away men who would be saved, receiving only the elect!"

I answered her in this vein:

"You misunderstand the situation. You're visualizing that God is standing at the door of Heaven, and men are thronging to get in that door. And God says to various ones, 'Yes, you may come, but not you, or you, or you—yes, you may come, and you, and you, but not you, etc.' The situation is hardly this! Rather, God stands at the door of Heaven with His arms outstretched, inviting all to come. Yet all men without exception are running in the opposite direction towards Hell as hard as they can go. So God, in election, graciously reaches out and stops this one, and that one, and this one over here, and that one over there, and effectually draws them to Himself by changing their hearts, making them willing to come. Election keeps no one out of Heaven who would otherwise have been there, but it keeps a whole multitude of folks out of Hell who would otherwise have been there! Were it not for election, Heaven would be an empty place, and Hell would be bursting at the seams!"

...If you perish in Hell, blame yourself, as it's entirely your fault. But should you make Heaven, blame God, for it's entirely His fault! To Him alone belongs all the praise and glory!

- Mark Webb

shade tree

suddenly startled, I don't know how it can be
I thought I was there
resting, smiling
underneath a shade tree

the path I walked, leading me straight
clear, so I thought
but fog came on my way

and so into the dark, that cold, cold night
I walked, as I was blind


frail to burn


perfectly, just, when I was forever lost
the sun arose, and I saw

alone in a field, a tree had grown
beautiful, I knew
to sit, nowhere else to go

full circuit to beginning, surprised I now can see
I am finally found
resting and smiling
under the only shade tree





psss.... I engineered the poem in a specific way, try to find out how...

from dust

It is filthily ironic...

We detest being dirty,

yet are composed of dirt.

FINALLY!!!

That's right, I figured out what I'm doing for the rest of my life. Whoo Hoo! This picture was taken a while ago now, I was attempting to look like a homeless man (a little social experiment I was doing), and I'm pretty sure I pulled it off. Many a person told me that I was starting to resemble a bum. It's funny how people cautiously approach the subject of appearance, well some people at least. One of those who was not so cautious was a professor of mine at school, Dr. Chase. Dr. Chase is an older man, with grey hair and a grey beard (I guess it's ok to have a beard in our clean cut society, IF it's grey), he's been around a while and one of the most candid people I've met :)

I had a good talk with Dr. Chase a while back (when I had the beard of course) and we were discussing life, when he started to give me advice on finding a direction. I just sat and listened, and wasn't too engaged in the conversation until he says this, and I quote:

"You're just a 30 year old dude with a beard and no bachelor's degree. If you are ever going to make some serious money your going to have to do something illegal."

So yup, I know what's going down, or rather, what career path I'm going down now (after all this time!)... that of lucrative criminal activity. Clearly!

Oh, of course he was joking, but at the same time, there was a certain sense of despair in his tone... He thinks my life will amount to nothing unless I acheive certain things. I cry for him, and cry out for him, knowing his life will amount to nothing if those things are what he values. So what is important in life? And how meaningless are those things we typically see as being important? What if, and this is a huge if, one that requires true death to self, what if we started to care about the things that Christ cared about? How would our strivings look at that point? I'm a failure at this. I get wrapped up in trying to be something, for someone, or to get somewhere, and then when I get lost and fail along the way anyway, I somehow have the audacity to wonder where I went wrong... God help us.

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2

"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." Matthew 7:13-14

destitute

you clamor
too
soar through the clouds
high above
looking round
life
is death
found
here you
fly in fear
wait in tears
bound
down
a black mine waits
cold and dark
sealed to tight
each
without
light
black
cold
dark
deaths hold
night
sight
you clamor
to