the ebb what?

The changing tide, it comes in then out, high then low, sometimes with a storm, sometimes with serenity... what a beautiful picture of life. Ask me to explain how it is a beautiful picture of life and I won't be able to answer, except that life changes, yet always stays the same. Que sera, sera...

One of the most shocking things that comes with age is realizing that no one really ever grows up. All through the aging process people senior to us represent something awe inspiring and it seems that much time is spent dreaming over that next stage in life. "Ah, to be out of high school, out of college, married, to be a house owner, world traveling retired RV operator..." But how depressing it is to get to that stage and realize nothing has changed. At every point in life we deal with selfishness and all the nasty out-workings that it produces. It is only by the grace of God that anything is different, at least truly different. Hiding sinfulness and shame will only work as far as the grave, but beyond is an entirely different story. It is here that I find myself being crushed and begging for change. I must see God now and be completely fulfilled, entirely content with where I am, right now. No amount of wishing or dreaming will produce for myself a life that I am never meant to live.

I have been accepted to Moody (awhile ago now) and even sent in my enrollment deposit, but (as there is always a but) I am going to stay in Southern California for another year. A week ago I came to the conclusion that it is probably not yet time to leave. I have many reasons, but the main one being that I have a very unique opportunity to spend some time in intense study and discipleship with some great men of God, and I think it would be unwise to throw that away. And conversely to my nagging thought of being 25 and still somewhat directionless, at this point, putting off school for another year makes little difference. Since I put up my "however letter, I'll post my acceptance letter too.

"Now may the God of peace who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great shepherd of the sheep, by the blood of the eternal covenant, equip you with everything good that you may do his will, working in us that which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen." Hebrews 13:12